… solipsubmissive …

This is a continuation.  You may want to begin here:  absolution, part one

“Forgiveness is the fragrance left by the violet on the heel that crushed it.”

Mark Twain

Author’s aside:  i remember a time when i always wanted to be pretty for you.  Never a hair out of place, my makeup lightly and perfectly applied, always poised, always serene.  That time existed before i knew you.

***

 Halfway across the room, elise realized it didn’t matter where she sat.  It was just that kind of evening.  There was a drawback to either choice, and she was certainly going to be held accountable.  The realization settled her, calmed her fears.  She felt the knot of tension in her stomach ease.

She stopped at Erick’s chair and laid a hand on his shoulder.  “Can i get anyone anything else?”  Both Matthew and Caleb shook their heads.  Erick said nothing, and her last hope that he would guide her in her choices evaporated.  She could almost hear him chiding her in that quiet way he had, “You should know me well enough, by now, that there would be no need to question what i require of you.”

elise grimaced inwardly at the thought.  She settled on the arm of Erick’s chair, placing herself physically above him in a rare show of internal defiance that would be lost on Matthew, but entirely noted by Erick and Caleb.  She watched as the latter raised his brows and gave her Master a pointed look. 

Not quite brave enough to meet Erick’s eyes, elise smiled at Matthew.  “Please, don’t let me interrupt the conversation.”  The men talked around her while she sipped her wine and occasionally responded when directly addressed.  She watched their drinks, made sure they were properly refreshed, moving quietly and unobtrusively around them as their discussion became livelier.  Always, she returned to sit on the arm of Erick’s chair, who had yet to address her again.

After a couple hours, Matthew stood.  “I really need to head home.  Early day tomorrow.” 

elise stood as well and smiled.  She followed Erick and Matthew to the front door.  When it was time, she nodded politely and presented her cheek for the requisite goodbye kiss.  “So nice to see you again, Matthew,” she murmured.  She kept the social smile in place until the door closed behind him, then turned to go back into the living room and gather the glasses to be washed.

“Leave them, elise.”

Astonished, she looked back over her shoulder at Erick.  “The glasses?  But … “

He laughed softly.  “Will it bother you, pet, to know they are down here, unwashed and scattered about the living room?  Will it be something upon which you focus your attention instead of focusing it where it belongs?”

elise considered and discarded about three answers in the blink of an eye.  “No, Sir,” she said politely.  “If you wish the glasses to remain where they are, i’ll not give them another thought until you tell me to do so.”

“Mm.  Good answer.”  He looked at her another long moment, then walked past her and into the living room.  “Caleb will be staying, of course.” 

She followed.  “Of course.”

“Have a seat, elise.”  Erick indicated the chair he’d occupied.

A bit off balance, elise glanced at Caleb, who hadn’t moved.  She sat down primly on the edge of the chair, her knees together, ankles crossed and tucked slightly under the chair, her hands folded quietly in her lap. 

“So very correct,” Caleb drawled.

elise felt her stomach lurch with renewed annoyance, but kept her expression carefully bland. 

Caleb laughed.  “You loathe me, don’t you?”  He took another sip of his brandy.  “Your hands clench ever so slightly when i speak.  Did you know that, elise?”

She ignored the last part of what he’d said.  “i do not loathe you.”

“Are you saying that for my benefit, pet?”  Erick settled into the chair next to hers, crossed his legs and leaned on the arm of the chair.  He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  “You’ve been entirely too careful of late.”

“i don’t understand,” she said.

“No, elise.  You don’t.”  He smiled, a silky, dangerous smile that made her catch her breath.  “But you will.”

part three

“Keep the candle burning, elise.” 

For you  … forever.