six: do not kill
This is a continuation. You might want to begin here: one
“Thou shalt not kill.”
***
Olivia stalked up the steps and down the corridor angrily, muttering under her breath. Sera followed, trotting a little to keep up. “Slow down, Olivia. It’s not like you’ve anywhere to go.”
Olivia stopped short and whirled around, her dark hair flying in an arc around her head. “Why, Sera? Why did you wait so long to tell me he was dangerously close to losing his trial?”
Sera crossed her arms and regarded the angry girl. “I didn’t know. Micah didn’t tell me he was fast-tracking Jason. I only heard about it because it wasn’t going well, and word spread among the Life Defense Counselors. Micah doesn’t lose. As soon as I heard, I checked it out for myself, then came to get you.”
“What the hell is fast-tracking?” Olivia refused to give up her ire that easily.
“Five commandments at a time, one after another. It is typically used when there is very little evidence to support a not guilty verdict on a series of commandments, and mostly only on the first five commandments.”
Olivia closed her eyes and folded her lips into a thin, tense line. Without a word, she turned and resumed her walk up the corridor, her steps more measured this time, her mind spinning. When they got to her room, the open door appeared before them. Both girls climbed up on the bed and sat down facing each other. Sera crossed her legs comfortably and waited.
“How long before the next trial?”
“Neither of you are being tried for the sixth. Had you broken the commandment to not kill, you wouldn’t be here at all.”
“No, i suppose that makes sense.” Olivia chewed on her lip, then gave Sera a direct look. “He can’t win, can he?”
Sera hesitated. “It will be difficult. False witness … “ her voice trailed off. “Well, that one tends to get even the most virtuous.”
Olivia’s nimble mind skipped ahead to the inevitable conclusion. Jason would lose. And Olivia herself would, easily, win. Not only that, but she would have won long before the outcome of Jason’s trial was apparent.
“Olivia?”
The older girl appeared lost in thought, but shook her head and focused on Sera when she heard her name. “Yes?”
“I have to know about the cage. Why did you suddenly wish to plead guilty when you saw it?”
“Because they hadn’t ruled on Jason yet. And that piece of evidence would have damned him, especially in light of the commandment in question.” Her mind automatically went to that day, that horrible day in Jason’s kitchen. She shut down the memory when she heard Sera gasp. “I really wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“It isn’t as though I can help it,” protested Sera. Her voice softened. “I’d like to understand, please. I’m not like you, but … that moment in the courtroom, when you knelt.” Sera’s eyes glowed with wonder. “The look on your face was so peaceful. And Jason, when he smiled at you … I almost felt as though I’d forgotten how to breathe.”
Olivia smiled quietly, then reached out for Sera’s hand. “Then i won’t tell it to you. i’ll remember it so that you can see.” Her blue eyes turned grave. “It isn’t pretty. You need to know that before you see it.”
“Okay.”
After a long moment, Olivia nodded, leaned back into the pillows propped against the wall, and closed her eyes.
***
“Why didn’t you tell them?” Jason’s voice was hard, his words clipped and angry.
Olivia looked up at him from in the cage, her face blotchy from crying, mascara smudged around her eyes. “i meant to tell them. i d-didn’t know how.”
“Well. Now they’re expecting you to fly home tomorrow, and I’m expecting you here for Christmas.” He reached between the bars of the cage, grasped a handful of her hair, pulled her face to the bars. She cried out in pain when her cheekbone connected with the cold metal. “Isn’t this where you told me you wanted to be?”
“Y-yes, Sir. i’m sorry.”
Jason tilted his head until he could see into the one eye that wasn’t closed to protect it from the bars. “So what’s it going to be, slut? Christmas here, where you say you belong, or are you going home?”
Her scalp ached. She could feel the hairs breaking away from their follicles as he twisted his fist still tighter. Her cheek throbbed from the backhand which had initially stunned her, and she was pretty sure there was a good sized bruise on her right hip, as it had borne the brunt of her weight when he’d tossed her into the cage.
Despite all that, she didn’t even consider going home. She really did belong here, with him. She blinked and took a shuddering breath. “Here, Sir. i want to be with you for Christmas.”
Abruptly, he released her, straightened, and strode from the room. A second later, he was back, her cell phone in his hand. “Call,” he said shortly, thrusting the phone through the bars of the cage.
Her hand shaking, Olivia flipped open the phone, pressed the single digit that speed-dialed her parents, then pressed the green send button and brought the phone to her ear. Her heart pounded as it began ringing. “Hello?”
“Hi, Daddy,” she said, her voice as bright and cheerful as she could make it. She looked up, found Jason’s dark eyes on hers as she listened to her father on the other end of the phone. When he asked how she was, she responded. “i’m fine, but i have some bad news.” She paused again, listened.
Jason waited, impassive.
“No, nothing like that. i-i’m just not going to be able to make it home for Christmas after all.”
“Tell them why, Olivia.”
She blinked, shook her head. Jason leaned closer. “Tell. Them. Why.” He enunciated each word so clearly, so sharply, they fell on her ears like shards of glass.
“No, Daddy. i told Jason i’d stay here with him. i’m sorry i didn’t call sooner.” She listened again, closed her eyes. A tear slipped from beneath her lashes, traced a dark path down her cheek. “i want to be here, Daddy. i’ve made my choice.”
The silence on the other end of the line nearly crushed her. Finally, she nodded, then closed the phone with a snap and dropped it on the floor of the cage. She looked down, dejected and defeated.
“Give me the phone, Olivia.”
Numb, she picked it up and handed it to him through the bars of the cage. He stood there for a moment longer, then turned and left the room. As he passed the doorway, he flipped off the light, plunging the room into semi-darkness. Olivia shifted, leaned against the bars, and closed her eyes.
***
Sera was frowning when Oliva sat up. “Well. Good call on the guilty plea. If they’d seen that, Lucifer could have left with him today.”
“It was my choice. It would still be my choice today.”
“I just don’t understand,” said Sera. “Jason’s no different than Lucifer. He belongs in Hell, from what I’ve seen.”
“That may be true,” Olivia murmured. “But if it is, then so do i.”
Well, I hope he hugged her later, that’s all I can say. (But then, you know how I am with the withdrawal of affection).
family versus lover… the eternal conundrum and of course, throw in kink and it makes it so much harder as it is difficult to explain certain things.
what bothers me here, I think (had to think about it actually) is the anger element - and the backhand - over the line from control to abuse - but that’s my take as I am very sensitive to nuance …
still one of my favourite series ….
Beth,
The cage scene was at the beginning of their relationship … Christmas. And i do understand about withdrawl of affection. i feel the same way. Which makes it an amazing tool for the men to whom we’re attracted to use, does it not?
selkie,
As someone particularly amazing once told me, one cannot serve two Masters. And while family might not be a traditional “master,” there often comes a time of choice, as it did for Olivia. If you willingly belong to someone, well … the choice should be plain, in my opinion.
~smiling softly~ You and i always end up in the same place over the control/abuse thing. It is, of course, very individualistic. The men to whom i’m attracted (and one or two that i’ve dated) would use methods i imagine you’d consider abusive to remind me of who and what i am, and of where i belong.
Thank you both … so much.
elise
we do - thank god we can discuss it rationally LOL - and I appreciate your writing becuase it provokes thought - and honesty - which means I have to go off and figure out whether I am simply reacting to something I find disturbing or reacting becuase I’ve been there, done that?
and yes, withdrawal of affection - viscious and used very competently by mine over a very many years …
i’m glad, too. i tend to be one to stick to my opinions unless given a very good reason to change it. Even when it comes to someone who owns me … i have a mind of my own.
Much, sometimes, to my chagrin.
elise
Funny, but I didn’t find Jason’s anger or actions questionable. After all, Olivia blatantly lied to him, which would be particularly hurtful to a Dom at the same time it left a sadist gleeful. Whether straight, kinky or pretzel shaped, to be told you were chosen, then to be quickly rejected would tear at anyone’s pride or sense of worth.
The concept of honoring parents is all well and good, but limited in my mind. If one puts away childish things on entering adulthood, traditional or blind loyalties need rethinking, especially if one is to honor oneself as well as those one cares for, and a rational adult would need to recognize that if honoring anyone else was to have meaning.
There was no honor in Olivia’s actions, nor is regressing to childhood a reason or excuse for her. Jason was far more honorable in forcing her to tell her parents the truth.
As to withdrawing affections - we all do it, especially when those we love disappoint our expectations - and it’s always vicious and nasty. In a D/s or S/M situation it is probably more harsh because of the level of adult expectation and dependency.
I must second selkie, “I appreciate your writing because it provokes thought”. When I first read this around 2am this morning, I didn’t get it. I understand the theory, people love their parents. But I have to suspend my disbelief on that one.
I have to weigh in on the withdrawal of affection issue. I don’t think Jason is withdrawing his affection. In fact, I think his big problem with this bit of the story is too much affection for Olivia. Then he can’t stand the thought that she seems to have chosen her family over him for Christmas. So he lashes out, tries to make her undo what hurt him so much, and then when that doesn’t satisfy him he leaves the room (maybe until he has more control). That’s why he’s so insistent that she tell her father that she’s chosen to stay with him.
you see the problem, elise? your writing totally takes on a life of its own in my mind. In my reading of your story, Olivia doesn’t mind being in the cage. She can’t possibly do any of her work, so it’s actually a big relief. Sure, it’s a little cramped, but hey, nothing’s perfect.
Kaz,
There are occasionally things in these comment strings about which we disagree. On this, we are in utter agreement … and i’m glad someone sees things the way i do. Not, of course, that i dismiss the viewpoints of others.
i don’t feel Olivia lied, precisely, so much as she committed the sin of cowardice, both in not telling her parents, and then not telling Jason she hadn’t told her parents. His reaction, though extreme from a “vanilla” standpoint, was, in my eyes, actually kind.
As i’ve often said, punishment is just another form of adoration.
elise
sassy,
Ah, you darling thing. i don’t see that as being a problem. Writing is funny. We try to write something we see in our minds … try to portray an image, an idea. Then people read it and they create their own images from those words, and sometimes it isn’t quite what the author intended. Often, however, it gives the story new perspective.
Sera’s viewpoint is that of someone who can’t understand the dynamics of the situation … and yet she’s moved by the pretty pieces of it. When people contact me gushing about how moved they are by the relationships i depict, and they tell me they want to “try” D/s, or M/s, or S/m (whatever,) i’m always quick to point out that it is rarely pretty. i don’t think they really believe me.
Which is fine. Because they certainly will the first time they try to wash blood, snot, saliva, and tears out of their sheets, then give up, throw them away, and buy new bedding.
elise
I LOVE new bedding. After it’s been washed a few times - yum. But first the effort must be made - cold water, liquid dish soap, if that doesn’t work there’s always tie dying. I usually need major tears in the fabric before I take the ultimate step. I dream of silk sheets, but they really don’t wash easily.
I don’t think Jason is depicted as withdrawing his affection in this scene. *smile* I only meant exactly what I wrote: I hope he hugs her later. Forgives her and moves on after her punishment. I would imagine that he does.
Having been backhanded *clears throat* I will say that under the right circumstances, within the dynamics of certain relationships I’ve been in: no, I don’t see it as abusive. At all. In and of itself, yes I can absolutely see that such an act could be construed as being such, and, in fact, in many, many cases, is.
elise ~ “i do understand about withdrawl of affection. i feel the same way. Which makes it an amazing tool for the men to whom we’re attracted to use, does it not?”
*wry smile* indeed it does.
sassy,
You minx. Tie dying! You’re an inventive and frugal little thing. Indulge yourself a bit, girly. Get those silk sheets, just once.
Beth,
i like to think he hugs her later, but i rather think he doesn’t hug her to make her feel better for this particular transgression. This piece does not appear to be about hugs, anyway, does it?
~biting lip~ Does it?
elise
My off the cuff response is: can’t have punishment without love.
Would he hug her after releasing her from her cage? You know him better than I do. How long is he supposed to hang onto it?
What I suspect, is that in deep, dark corners, he is quite loving towards her. And, it’s a metaphorical embrace, isn’t it? She’s wholeheartedly embracing her life with him in this scene.
Beth,
Very much so. i have my visions and ideas of the life these two might lead behind the scenes. But i very much want to keep the pictures in my head that don’t make it into words right there … in my head.
You all have a right to your own visions, you see.
elise
you know - Beth’s latest contribution (which I have not yet commented on, becuase like this, it left me thinking - and upset - and thinking some more (and will be commenting later) and this are not unlike - the themes have a similarity that both provoked a similar reaction in me.
I think - and I need to write about this myself - create some sort of catharsis becuase these are both leaving me restlesss - that one could surmise that the anger indeed is there, yet there are many possibilities htat could have provoked it - from her inability to choose between her parents and him, from her failure to obey promptly and follow through to perhaps his own growing awareness of the hold she has on HIM??
how can such a relatively short excerpt provoke so much musings … elise, you’re a genius LOL
selkie,
While i’m flattered, the label “genius” leave me fidgeting. i write vaguely, on purpose, and i keep my posts on serialized pieces short. There’s something in me that just doesn’t sit will with creating a complete picture for my readers, with regard to this blog. In my professional writing … yes. i spoon feed those readers description ad nauseum.
Perhaps is is because of these comment discussions. Certainly, i learn a great deal from them.
elise