… solipsubmissive …

PersistentAtty: Hello there.

mangledtulip: Mm. Hello. Been a while.

PersistentAtty: Yeah, it has. I had to take over a trial for someone who had a death in the family. Busy week. Glad it’s done.  How was your week honey?

mangledtulip: Uneventful.

PersistentAtty: I’d trade you. : ) I decided today to take a vacation. I need some uneventful days in a row.

mangledtulip: i hope you enjoy it.

PersistentAtty: I am good at relaxing once I get away. Once I know you better, come with me. A week in Hawaii, or even back there somewhere would be perfect.

mangledtulip: Mm. and how, precisely, do you intend to get to know me better?

PersistentAtty: You can experience some excitement, travel, adventure, a strong bright man, and get back into the life of a naturally sadistic but loving man, all in one vacation.  By chatting with you more, getting you on the phone, and coming to see you. I told you, I am going to make this happen.  I thought of you all week. Not in a “oh my God I have to have her way” but in a “this has great potential” way.

mangledtulip: i remain skeptical, given the time between your last contact with me and today.

PersistentAtty: I know. It was not a good week for following up. I thought about that.

mangledtulip: i actually responded to your email with a bit about my own life. silly of me.

PersistentAtty: There is nothing silly about being honest and showing a little trust.

mangledtulip: not that easy.  not with me.

PersistentAtty: I know. You told me.

mangledtulip: no matter how busy you were, i’m sure you had a spare second to drop me a line. you didn’t take that step. <shrug> so now i know.

PersistentAtty: You see…you present a slight quandry. Do I pursue you enough to prove my real interest and have you think “I’m not ready for this” or do I give you space and proceed slowly and have you think I am not sincere about my interest?  You said you’re not easy. You’re not. If I push, you pull back, if I pull back, you withdraw. Let me work it out. I’m the man in this relationship. I am quite comfortable with being in charge.

mangledtulip: i suppose you’ll have to weigh the relative value of continuing. i hope it works out for you.

PersistentAtty: It will. Did you send an email and then unsend it?  Or are you talking about our earlier emails?

mangledtulip: no. i never initiate anything.  i’m talking about responding to the last one you sent me.

PersistentAtty: Oh ok. As silly as it sounds, I wish I could have one day, 24 hours with you. You’d trust me then, and open up a little, and smile.

mangledtulip: from the 19th. “Came by looking for you.  Will come back later.  I’ve been thinking about you.   Kiss.”  it doesn’t sound silly. but i wouldn’t trust you that easily, either.

PersistentAtty: I want to get to that point where you love the sex, love the laughter, and love being back in a “lifestyle” (hate that word) that is you.

mangledtulip: well. then i suppose you’ll have to figure how to make that happen, won’t you?

PersistentAtty: Honey, I did come by looking for you. That was simply a message saying “I miss you”

mangledtulip: yes. and i responded.  and then … nothing.

PersistentAtty: I may regret saying this, but I’ll say it: Once you cum for me, you will feel closer.

mangledtulip: <snort>  do you remember my response?

PersistentAtty: Yeah, I thought about that. The “snort” was legit. But I am right. You are not only not yet part mine, you are not yet sure it’s even real vs some AOL flirtation.  I did not get the response. I minimized and when I returned I had been bumped.

mangledtulip: i don’t worry about such things.  i EMAILED my response.

PersistentAtty: You worry more than you let on, or at least think more than you let on.

mangledtulip: i’m not worried. in the slightest.

PersistentAtty: I have no emails from you.

mangledtulip: <sigh> you read it at 2:37pm, EST on April 22nd.

PersistentAtty: I thought you meant since then.  I’m slightly confused.

mangledtulip: no. i didn’t. i have quite plainly stated that you emailed me, to which i responded with more openness than i normally respond to men.  and that there has been nothing since.  until today.

PersistentAtty: We “met” on the 18th, Friday, and my im to you was on Tuesday.  Honey, I was working 18 hour days.

mangledtulip: this is an EMAIL. not an IM.  oh, forget it.

PersistentAtty: let’s start over…I enjoy you, I even adore you, I am sorry I was away.

mangledtulip: you do not adore me. and you owe me no apology. i do not seek one.

PersistentAtty: Apology has already been made. I felt I owed you one. But let’s leave it at that. Take a deep breath, smile, please.

mangledtulip: <raising brows> you think that i am not smiling?  look. i’m sure you’re brilliant and fun when we are able to be together. but i don’t think you’ll be able to sustain the type of contact i need.

PersistentAtty: I think if you were here, I’d handle things better. Much, you’d have spent the last 24 hours across my knee, on your own knees, spanked, teased, and taken to the very edge of what you can bear, and you’d be so satisfied, in every way, you’d wonder if it was the knife, the whip, the cane, or me, or you, or us.

mangledtulip: Mm. words.  easily typed.  too bad you do all that boring business law. i bet you’d have made an excellent trial attorney.

PersistentAtty: What kind of contact do you need? Could it be done from here? Or is it impossible? Can you get by with regular computer contact and phone enjoyment and periodic meetings there and here, or is it “long distance just won’t work, regardless of the amount of long distance attention”?  I am a trial attorney honey.

mangledtulip: yes. but with boring stuff.

PersistentAtty: Ahhhh, not the least bit boring. It’s the only really intellectually challenging trial work. Criminal work, auto accidents….not brains, just deals.

mangledtulip: long distance is difficult, at best, but i don’t rule things out. you waited a long time to talk to me again. it just didn’t seem like a good sign.  STILL doesn’t seem like a good sign.

PersistentAtty: I have to get some coffee. back in 3 mins. Bitch at me while I’m gone, then forgive, and let me have my little piece of your heart. Back in 3 mins.

mangledtulip: <cold look> i’m not bitching. i don’t bitch. enjoy your coffee. i’ll keep my heart.

PersistentAtty: I am back.  I could melt that cold look.

mangledtulip: i’m sure you think so.

PersistentAtty: I think you kinda think so too. Now, tell me what the rest of your day looks like.

mangledtulip: writing, then dinner with a friend.

PersistentAtty: Good for you. I am going to make a few calls, and make a flight reservation. I will be back in a bit…not long. I hope you can talk then.

mangledtulip: Mm. actually, i’ve not had coffee either, and i’m out of cream. i’m going to get some. you can call me, if you want. consider it a second chance.

PersistentAtty: Give me your number.

mangledtulip: XXX-XXX-XXXX

PersistentAtty: In 10 mins?

mangledtulip: <shrug> whenever.

PersistentAtty: You need to cum. I need to make it happen.

mangledtulip: not while i’m driving, thank you.  i’m getting in the car. bye.

PersistentAtty: When will you be home?

mangledtulip: <steady look> when i get home.

PersistentAtty: OK, get in the car. And imagine you and me, imagine the spanking, the whip, the flog, the cane, and the ultimate relief.  And the release…

PersistentAtty signed off at 1:36 P.M.

Now, readers, what you need to know here is that he did NOT call me. I’ll be fair enough to admit there was some ambiguity as to when the call was actually supposed to take place, but I didn’t see it that way at first, and sent him an email indicating that.

PersistentAtty signed on at 2:31 P.M.

PersistentAtty: You aren’t just tough. You’re not fair. I said “call in 10 minutes, when will you get back home” and you said “whenever”. I figured I’d wait until you got home. Am I wrong or right?

mangledtulip: wrong.

PersistentAtty: Did you save it?  I’m right.

mangledtulip: by “whenever,” i meant you could contact me even before that.

PersistentAtty: Hmm, a lot of that with the presidential candidates — I said X but I meant Y. Hold on…I’m getting some coffee and then we can talk.  We’ll start fresh.

mangledtulip: <patient look>  i wanted you to call me while i went for coffee. i held the phone in my hand, in case i didn’t hear the ring.  it didn’t ring. you figured wrong.  i gave you a second chance.  something i rarely do.  enjoy your coffee. i have work to do.

PersistentAtty: You don’t want to talk? And you’re not going to be fair. You did not say call now, you said whenever, I then asked when you’d return (for that reason) and you didn’t respond.

mangledtulip: i’d already said goodbye and left.

PersistentAtty: You didn’t sign off. I did not know. Stop fighting me Elise. Relax with me. You can.

mangledtulip: no. this is the second time.  i’m not quite sure why you want this so badly.

PersistentAtty: You have a decision to make. Do you want to continue with me or not?

mangledtulip: i don’t know.

PersistentAtty: Good answer. Honest answer. I don’t so much want this so badly, as I enjoy you, I am attracted to you, and I see potential here. Obviously it’s not sexual, because there is nothing happening there.  Unless we both get aroused by fighting and I suspect not.

mangledtulip: i do.  even more so by being subdued.

PersistentAtty: I thought about that as I typed it. I admit I got partly hard when we were typing earlier.  I become more so as I subdue.  Perhaps, my love, today has been our first truly experience in our form of foreplay.

mangledtulip: do you not see what you do? i share something about myself, and suddenly, it is one of your “things.”  i’m not your love.  i don’t trust you.

PersistentAtty: You will.

mangledtulip: you’re glib. slick. packaged.

PersistentAtty: We are drawn to each other.

mangledtulip: no. you’re drawn to me. i’m assessing.

PersistentAtty: No one is more glib and sarcastic than you…and I don’t mind it.

mangledtulip: i’m sarcastic, but never glib.

PersistentAtty: You need to be tied down, lectured, and disciplined.

mangledtulip: no. i really don’t.

PersistentAtty: I think you do. And after two hours of that, you need an orgasmic relief that leaves you unable to move, unable to think, and unable to ever forget it.

mangledtulip: it’s shallow.

PersistentAtty: Perhaps. Perhaps not.

mangledtulip: sex is great. and i like sex.

PersistentAtty: I know that.

mangledtulip: but that’s shallow.  there’s no depth, no emptying.  you’re pretty. a trophy.  i’m far too difficult for you.

PersistentAtty: And I’m not suggesting it’s all you need, but you are at the moment, for me, like a wild mare, unable to do anything but fight. I feel like I need to break you before you will trust me to ride you, trust me to follow me, trust me to let me assume my role and you yours.

mangledtulip: i don’t think you have the ability.  i’m sorry. i know that sounded harsh.

PersistentAtty: If you were too difficult for me, I wouldn’t spend the effort. Believe what you want, you need that breaking and you need it badly, and I can do that.  Break you down so that you are on the floor crying, pleading, and knowing that you have been broken.

mangledtulip: words.  <resigned look> do your best, counselor.

PersistentAtty: It didn’t sound harsh at all. It sounded like the wild mare boasting of her strength.  While the stallion knows, without a doubt in his mind, that he is the more powerful…and that in the end it’s him that mounts her and her that submits to his control.

mangledtulip: submitting to superior strength is cosmetic, at best.

PersistentAtty: If it’s physical strength.

mangledtulip: Mm hmm.

PersistentAtty: You need this. You want it. You just need to believe in it and stop fighting. It’s only going to wear you out. Picture that wild mare fighting the rope, fighting the whip, and refusing to be taken.

mangledtulip: <chuckling> i know a sadist who can attest to my ability to remain focused.

PersistentAtty: I can see it, the beautiful white mare, the rope, the whip and the struggle.

mangledtulip: <laughing harder> you’re seriously not going to let go of this equine analogy, are you?

PersistentAtty: I have no doubt you remain focused, but what you focus on can be changed.  Equine, canine, human…same scenario.  You want to like me.  You want to trust me.

mangledtulip: What if the stallion THINKS he’s a stallion, but he’s really a gelding?

PersistentAtty: All he has to do is call upon his memory.  Stallions and mares are always stallions and mares.

mangledtulip: dear lord above. i think i might finally have found someone who clings to hope more strongly than me.

PersistentAtty: Hope is wishing and focusing on the future. Confidence is memory of success and training and preparation.  All the others hope they’ll win, the winner just wins.  I’d like to call you now.

mangledtulip: <laughing> okay. this should be interesting.

And, he did call me. The call went surprisingly well. But, you know me. I remain skeptical.