… solipsubmissive …

Despite my outgoing nature and the ease with which i managed most social situations, i was wholly unprepared for my first high school dance.  i’d been, of course, to the little dances in junior high, where all the boys shuffled around on one side of the gym pretending to ignore all the girls, who were gathered in groups on the other side of the gym, staring longingly at the boys in the hopes that one of them would actually dance.  Our parents dropped us off, and our parents picked us up, and there was very little interaction between the two groups from beginning to end.

Not so in high school. 

Homecoming was approaching, and despite the fact that all my little girlfriends were in a tizzy about it, i hadn’t actually given the dance much thought.  i didn’t have a boyfriend, so i really wrote it off to something to be enjoyed by those who were coupled up.  My social plate was rather full, in any case.  I was also on the committee building the Homecoming float, and we were meeting every day after school, so, truly, missing the dance was perfectly fine with me.

That was before Matt cornered me in the tunnel on the way out to the parking lot and nervously asked if i would go with him.

i tilted my head quizzically.  “You want me to go to the dance?  With you?”

He looked  a little put out.  “You don’t want to go with me?”

i honestly hadn’t given the matter any thought whatsoever, so i was completely unprepared with an answer.  i stammered a lukewarm, “Well, i guess so.”

Apparently, it was the right response.  He smiled with what i now know was relief, took my hand and walked me out to the parking lot.  When we got to my friend’s car, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and said, “See you tomorrow.”

i got in, perplexed.  Chantelle gave me a funny look.  “Did Matt just kiss you?” 

“Yeah,” i said.  “And he asked me to Homecoming.”

“Did you say yes?”

i wasn’t sure what i’d said.  “i think so,” i told her.  She just gave me a funny look and started the car.

My mother’s reaction was totally different.  She was elated.  “Oh, we’ll have to go buy you a dress, and shoes, and figure out what you’re going to do with your hair…”  She prattled on and on.  i grabbed an apple out of the fridge and wandered out of the kitchen, hoping she wouldn’t notice.  i didn’t get far.  “Is it formal, or semi-formal?”  Her voice penetrated my closed bedroom door.

“i don’t know,” i called back, my mouth full of apple.

“Well, you need to find out so you know what to wear.”  She sounded a little exasperated.  It occurred to me that this dance was likely going to turn into more trouble than i’d thought it might.

i was right.  The first problem was transportation.  i wasn’t allowed to date yet.  Matt was a little bit older than me, and he’d thought we’d double date with a friend of his.  my father had other ideas.  To Matt’s credit, he took it in stride when i told him my father would have to drive us.  “i’m not allowed to go on a date in a car until i’m sixteen.”

He somehow managed to check his frustration, though i could see it on his face.  i raised a brow and looked back at him steadily.  He sighed.  “Okay.  What color is your dress?”

i frowned, wondering why he needed to know that.  My mother had bugged me daily about the dress, and i kept putting her off on shopping for it, so i actually hadn’t purchased a dress yet.  Matt saw the look on my face and explained.  “So I can buy you a corsage to match.”

“Oh,” i said, frowning, then just picked a random color.  “Blue,” i said, now completely certain Matt utterly regretted asking me to go to Homecoming with him.

When i got home from school that day, my mother looked militant.  It was Wednesday and the dance was Saturday.  I couldn’t shop on Thursday, because of the Homecoming parade, and the football game was Friday.  Going on Saturday seemed perfectly logical to me.  After all, I had the whole day before it was time to go to dinner and the dance, right? 

Mama looked horrified.  “You simply cannot wait until the last minute for this, elise.”  So, off we went.  i settled on the first dress i found that fit, a soft cashmere in a lovely shade of…lavender.

Yup.  i’d totally forgotten i’d told Matt the dress was blue.  i didn’t remember until Saturday morning.  Chewing my lower lip, i called him.  He sighed again.  (It was becoming familiar, the sighing.)  “We’ll handle it with the florist,” he said and hung up.

Daddy and i arrived at Matt’s house at the appointed time.  His parents weren’t home, so it was up to him to give me the corsage and pin it on.  i’d never had one before.  i’d spent more time playing football than learning how to handle social intricacies.  Matt looked distinctly uncomfortable at sticking his hand inside my dress to properly pin the thing with my Daddy standing right there, so i pinned it on myself.  After another few awkward moments, we left.  Matt and i settled into the backseat while Daddy drove.  Nobody said a word.

Matt had made reservations at the nicest restaurant in town, along with a number of other people going to the dance.  We wove our way between tables, smiling at our friends as we passed, the hostess beaming.  Before i could settle into the chair Matt had pulled out for me, she grasped my hand and said, in a thick French accent, “Darling, you must come with me.”

She tugged me toward the bathroom with all our friends looking on.  i had no idea why she wanted me to go, but i followed along obediently.  Once inside, she turned me by my shoulders, slid a hand inside my dress and began unpinning the corsage.  “Darling, you cannot go to ze dance with ze flower hanging off your bubbie like zees.”  She plucked it from the place i’d pinned it (never before having had a corsage) and moved it up to the front of my shoulder where it belonged.  “Now you go and eat and be pretty girl with your handsome boyfriend.”

Blushing profusely — one of the only times in my life i can remember doing so — i returned to the table.  Matt rose politely and held out my chair.  “What’d she want?” he whispered.

“Oh, just girl stuff,” i replied, biting my lip.

Dinner progressed without further incident.  We stepped outside and Daddy pulled up (he’d been waiting across the street, bless his heart,) and we got in the car and went to the dance.

The dance itself was uneventful.  Matt was a perfect gentleman.  Daddy took me home first so Matt could walk me to the door, which he did very nicely, even surprising me by asking if i’d like to go out again sometime.  i nodded and thanked him for a lovely evening, then went inside.  Daddy took him home, then came back and announced his approval.

“Does that mean i can go on dates now?”  i figured it was a good time to push a boundary.

my parents exchanged a glance, then looked back at me.  “No,” they said together.  Then laughed.