stuff …

•July 10, 2009 • 2 Comments

Incredibly busy, slave to the Muses, which isn’t nearly as fun as it sounds.  A couple of the Muses, as it turns out, are really hot sadists, though, so i’ve got that going for me.

i’ve had a love/hate relationship with Twitter.  i’m on my third name, which is “solipsubmissive” if you care to follow me.  i make no promises, though, that i’ll stay.  It seems to be working better for me this time … but if it starts dropping posts from all but two of the people i follow again, i’ll be done with the blasted thing.

Thanks to the blasted economy, the company for which i work had us on week long furloughs from March to June.  Mind you, i’m not complaining about that … i’m thankful i have a job, dreary though it may be.  It resulted in me having a great deal of vacation to use in the second half of the year, though, so it looks like i’m taking a week off in July, August, and September (though the September week straddles October.)  Sooo … thinking about taking a trip end of September, somewhere South-ish, possibly home again.  We shall see.  I also have off from just before Christmas ’til just after New Years.  More time than I’ve ever taken in a single year in my adult life.

i miss my days of writing fiction for y’all (and yes, especially for you.)  The novel i’m currently working on – my third – is on pace to beat deadline, though, so perhaps i can get back to a bit of my darkness-draped-in-light angel/demon stories in the near future.   In the meantime, i’ll post some short pieces when i can.  Those of you who are new to me, i promise i’m not always this … uninteresting.  Stroll through these or these, or this.

Ah, yes … and my angelic history goes back into my youth.  Here’s a little piece of my past:

a elise angelic

Yes, that’s me, an angel in our church nativity scene, at the tender, nubile age of fifteen.  Sweet, aren’t i?  ≈laughing≈  The youth director didn’t think i was very sweet, though, when i tried to explain the grass stains on that angelic garb, obtained when i snuck away behind the church for fifteen minutes or so with {insert mumbled name here.}

Naughtiness!  Much love and many kisses to you and you and you!

news flash

•July 7, 2009 • 2 Comments

Release on next novel is January 2010!  Writing like a fiend!  Have officially used more exclamation points in this post than should ever be tolerated!  (You love me anyway.)

≈ kisses for the world ≈

elise

and so today …

•July 5, 2009 • 3 Comments

… found me comfortably ensconced in a booth at my favorite  Mexican restaurant, indulging in a couple sangrìas and about a third of a dauntingly large plate of enchiladas.  (The other two thirds is tucked into my fridge for consumption at a time when i’m feeling less full.)

i like this particular place because they know me and my habits, and leave me to scribble in my spiral notebook with minimal interruption.  i wrote until i found myself pulled up short by my lack of knowledge on the subject of traveling by horse.  i attempted a bit of research via phone (i need an iPhone, dammit, and my contract with my current company isn’t up for a year and half) which was largely unsuccessful.  This distracted me enough that i put away my notebook, and shamelessly eavesdropped on the conversations swirling around me.

There was an older lady dining with a friend (married, at one point, to a Spaniard who never taught her how to speak Spanish, but did so beautifully himself, of course) who had been a regular at this establishment, too, as evidenced by the happy hugs and greetings she received from the entire staff.  This made me smile, until they asked after her husband, and she told them, in a voice that only trembled a little, that he had passed six months ago, but that he was in a better place, and no longer suffering.

While i reflected on the beauty of an apparent lifelong love (or that’s what i chose, with my silly romantic heart, to believe) my peace was suddenly shattered by the loud, LOUD laughter of a young lady two booths from mine.  i could only hear her side of whatever conversation she was having, but it jarred, when compared to the gentle conversation of the older ladies.  ”Look, nobody should mess with me.  My mood can snap at the slightest thing.  Remember when I got that girl at the grocery store fired because I didn’t like the way she looked at me?”  She then proceeded to give a rather poor imitation of what the girl had said in an exaggerated ethnic accent, then laughed … LOUDLY again … at her own perceived hilarity.

i looked back at the two older ladies, and found one of them watching me.  i suppose my distaste for the loud girl showed on my face, because she gave me a soft smile, then turned back to her friend.

And now i’m home … to research how long it takes to get from London to Scotland by carriage, and, at the urging of a Facebook friend, to check into the marriage laws in Wales during the early 19th century.

mojitos

•July 4, 2009 • Leave a Comment

i’m celebrating the Fourth quietly at home, after going to a good friend’s yesterday to celebrate her daughter’s 8th birthday.  Both days called for a refreshing summer beverage, so i whipped up some mojitos.  Having learned the secret to making the perfect mojito, i am now convinced there are only two places in the Carolinas one can obtain a decent mojito;  La Torres in Uptown Charlotte (only on Friday nights) … and my house.

i hope the long weekend finds you all well and safe.  Including my darling sadist friends (who i truly do adore, despite the dripping sarcasm of the previous post.)

Effin’ sadists.

Mojito

Photo taken moments before consumption.

Mojitos

  • Rum
  • Cane syrup (I make my own, when i can get sugarcane, which is plentiful at home, but not so much here.  When cane is not available, i use raw cane sugar instead of the processed white stuff.)
  • Seltzer
  • Lime
  • Mint leaves
  • Ice

i don’t measure, so can’t help you there, but basically, layer the first three ingredients in an ice filled shaker according to taste, squeeze in a couple slices of lime, then drop the rind in the glass.  Add a couple mint leaves, give it a good shake, and pour into a glass.

It is hard for me to decide which is more refreshing on a summer day … this, or a pitcher of fresh fruit sangrìas.  Either way, enjoy!

dear sadist …

•July 3, 2009 • 3 Comments

(Feel free to insert your name where it says “sadist” if you think this applies to you.  ≈beatific smile≈)

You know, i think you’re really pretty amazing.  A swell kinda guy.  All those really cool things you can do to me just take my breath away.  Oh, sure, sometimes it could get pretty ouchy and/or bloody, but i know, in my silly submissive heart of hearts, that you’re Doing It For My Own Good.  Right?

Oh.  Wrong.  Silly me.

You’re doing it for your own good.  ≈ponders that a moment, then smiles brightly≈  Well, that’s okay, cuz, you see, i’m all submissive and stuff, and so i absolutely adore offering myself as an instrument in this capacity.  All that silly stuff about protection, and honor, and belonging to someone forever is just super duper silly!!!  ≈musical little giggle≈

i’ve decided, because i’m such a good girl, to find your dark brooding angst totally cute.  That thing where you get all distant and superior used to make me all kinds of, like, you know, mad and stuff, but i’ve made great strides in self-awareness, and i’ve realized something.  Are you ready? (Gosh, i’m so so SO excited about this little epiphany.)

Your happiness is not my responsibility.

≈proud look≈

So, here’s the thing:  Yes, please, i’d love to crawl for you, beg for you, cry for you, and even scream for you.   Yes, you can feel free to pour your darkness into my light, and i’ll still make an excellent vessel for that.  Yes, you can use me to sate your sadism, fulfill your sexual needs, and even share some sort of emotional, cathartic experience that leaves us both drained and exhausted.  But when you’re finished with all that … go home.

My adoration has a statute of limitations.

Love,

elise

be silent with me

•June 29, 2009 • 6 Comments

Come close.
Curl up.
Be silent with me.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
Can you feel it?

Shhhh … let me touch you.  Please.

i want to touch you without seeing you, taste you without prior knowledge of where my lips will land.  i want my fingers to lightly kiss your skin, to drink in your rough places with sensitive tips, and to hesitate over your soft spots, as if unable to believe, without touching again and again, that they exist.

i want to see you without my eyes, explore you without restraint, touch you with abandon, curl into the dark corners of your mind without words.  i want to crawl inside your soul and draw it close around me, feel your sighs, your surrenders, taste your fears.

Let me touch you, sadist.  Be silent with me.

restless

•June 29, 2009 • 8 Comments

Somehow, this weekend, i managed to churn out, not counting this blog post, Facebook updates, and a couple IM conversations, nearly 10,000 words.  You’d think sitting at the keyboard tossing still more words on the screen would be the last thing i’d want to do just now.

The truth is, i’m restless.  Prowling.

i’ve slept little and eaten little over the past three days.  My phone rang a time or three, and i answered it a time or two, but it isn’t conversation for which i am looking.  At least not conversation with … friends.  i need more to do, i think.

My friends think it is because i’ve been at loose ends, relationship-wise for quite some time.  They may be right.  i’ve long maintained that i don’t seek a relationship, and i still don’t, really.  Not one most people would consider a real relationship.  i think what i seek would most closely be thought of as an “understanding.”  You know … we care about each other, and stuff, and we definitely enjoy fucking, and oh, yes, please, i’ll be happy to debase myself for you in all the many decadent, depraved ways both our rather fertile imaginations can devise … but, at the end of the day, or the weekend, or whatever happens that brings us out of fuck-world and back to real life, we both go to our separate corners.

Panting, one hopes.

i’m a picky little bitch.  (Yeah, that’s right, i know you told me that ages ago, and it galls me to admit it, but there it is.)

i’m considering taking on another writing project.  With one novel sitting in limbo, waiting for the line edit and whatever comes from that, the other novel well underway (and due to be finished in record time if i keep up the pace i’ve been on) i find myself looking for more.  i’ve appealed to all the friends i know to be on the lookout for any freelance stuff they come across in all their many and varied occupations.  i have a lead on a possible biography, though i doubt the subject will like the angle i’m going to propose.  Actually, he’ll probably like anything i propose, but i imagine the people handling him will instruct him to go another way.  i’ve been offered a screenplay opportunity, but i’m not entirely sure how i feel about that.  i don’t do well in rigid formats, writing-wise, which is hilarious in the extreme, given my fondness for ritual within my life and my relationships.

My skin is just crawling with the need to do something.  Something that will make a difference.

Any suggestions?

current favorites

•June 28, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Stealing a page from Daemon’s book, the videos are linked, where possible.  These are some of the beats behind my work.  Pretty heavy on the percussion, as is typical for me.  i do so love to feel … driven.

Percussion Gun ~ White Rabbits

Zero – Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Crushcrushcrush – Paramore

I’ve Got Friends – Manchester Orchestra

Since We’ve Been Wrong – The Mars Volta

Panic Switch – Silversun Pickups

The Rat – Dead Confederate

Use Somebody – Kings of Leon

The Hand That Feeds – Nine Inch Nails

No One Sleeps When I’m Awake – The Sounds

cucumber

•June 28, 2009 • 6 Comments

elise closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.  ”Mmm … cucumbers,” she breathed.  She could hear the knife slicing cleanly through the skin, the wet slice clinging to the cold steel as it passed through.  She slipped her arms around his waist, stood on tiptoe and peeked over his shoulder as he worked.  ”Thinner,” she instructed.  ”Paper thin.”

He stopped.  ”You should be doing this.  Not me.”

She shook her head, her long hair tickling his elbow.  ”I like watching you cut … things.”  She shivered a little, then reached out and snuck a slice of the pale green vegetable, playfully draping it across the back of the hand holding the knife.  When he didn’t react, she ducked under his arm, picked it up with her teeth and pulled it into her mouth, then hopped up on the counter next to the cutting board, chewing the flavorful tidbit.

He began slicing again.

“Did you ever notice how cucumber even tastes pale?”  elise swung her legs back and forth, still watching the knife, her tone conversational and light.

“No.”

elise, unconcerned with his short, terse response, reached over to steal another slice.  He smacked her sharply on the back of her wrist.  Laughing, she snatched her hand back and rubbed the offended area.  ”What are you making?”

“Slices of cucumber.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.  He glanced pointedly at her leg, which was in the way of his elbow.  She ignored the look for a moment, then pulled both legs up on the counter and sat cross-legged.  One of the straps of her sundress slipped down her shoulder.  ”Know what I want to do with it?”

He made an effort to stifle his reaction to the sudden husky timbre of her voice, and remained silent.

elise leaned forward.  ”i want you to slice them thinner.  Paper thin.  So that i can wrap your cock in them.”  She slipped a hand across his abdomen and down the front of his jeans.  His cock was hard against her palm.  ”Would you let me do that, love?  i could apply them, one by one, until i’ve covered your entire cock with the cool, wet circles … and then suck them off.”  She smiled and made a little purring sound.  ”Or i could cover you with them, close my fingers around you, and slide them up into my open, waiting, mouth.”

He had stopped slicing.  elise looked up at him and found his eyes with hers.  They smoldered at her, and she couldn’t tell if it was a look of desire … or warning.  ”i’m hungry, Sir,” she murmured.

He moved then, so quickly she hadn’t even time to gasp.  The hand holding the knife found its way to her temple, his wet fingers sliding into her hair, catching and pulling the springy curls in the process.  She could smell the steel of the blade, feel the chill of it, pressed against her temple.  An errant drop of juice from the cucumber trailed down the handle and dropped onto her chest.  At that, she did gasp.

And then all thought fled.  She fumbled with the closure of his jeans, her fingers dancing nimbly through the buttons, then pushing them down so they fell heavily around his ankles.  His free hand snaked around her waist, tugged her to the edge of the counter.  She spread her legs wide, then cried out as he impaled her on his cock in one sure thrust.

He fucked her, hard and furiously, and she fucked back at him with all the ferocity he’d ever taught her.  Her hands dropped to the counter, scrambling to find purchase, to give her the leverage she needed to spread herself wider, to balance on the very edge of the counter so that he could thrust bruisingly deeper.  Her right hand landed on the pile of sliced cucumber, curled into a fist and crushed the delicate slices between her fingers.

“More,” she begged, and he discarded the knife to grasp her by the waist, pulling her harder and faster onto his cock, their bodies slapping together audibly, until she cried out and convulsed around him, her head thrown back, her mouth open on a silent scream.  Before she’d even come down from her orgasm, he pulled her off the counter and forced her to her knees before him.  ”Open,” he commanded, and she did without hesitation, her hand, covered in cucumber, wrapping around the base of his cock, then stroking swiftly upward to meet her lips as they closed around the plum-colored head.  He shouted her name and erupted into her mouth, bathing her tongue with his seed in spurts of pleasure, which she swallowed gratefully, her eyes fixed on his beloved face.

Breathing hard, he swept the counter with rueful eyes.  ”You’ve made quite a mess, slut.”

elise bit her lip.  ”i was hungry,” she murmured.

intermission

•June 27, 2009 • 4 Comments

Writing a bit here, writing a lot there.  i might have something short and sweet for y’all in a couple days.  In the meantime, here’s yet another something short and sweet.  No Doubt covering Adam Ant’s “Stand and Deliver.”  The cute redhead singing with her is a high school friend of mine’s daughter.  As a die hard Antfan from the 80’s (oh, sweet mother of mercy, yes i was) i totally love this: